Have you heard the one about the “closing hymn”? If you’re wondering if the “closing hymn” reminds you of one of Joel Osteen’s favorite jokes, you’ve heard well — I feel your eagerness. But before I share it with you or tell you this favorite let me say…
Many people think the Bible is only filled with “Thou shalt not” commands. They assume the Bible is all about restrictions and making you lead a boring life. Every day is a gift from God and He tells us in His Word that life is meant to be enjoyed. Live your best life happier. If that doesn’t excite you about today being a day to celebrate, then, what truly brings you joy?
So, a preacher was winding up his temperance sermon with great fervor: “If I had all the beer in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” And the congregation cried, “Amen!”
“If I had all the wine in the world, I’d take it and throw it into the river.” And the congregation cried “Amen!”
“If I had all the whiskey and demon rum in the world, I’d take it all and throw it into the river.”
And the congregation cried “Hallelujah!”
The preacher sat down. The song leader stood very tentatively and announced: “For our closing song, let us sing Hymn # 365: “Shall We Gather at the River.”
The preacher may have sat down; however, we’re led to believe it’s no joking matter that the assembly will be jumping for joy when they gather at the river.
Does life feel like it’s mediocre? You’re working hard, making good money, and your health is good. Yet, like eating foods that aren’t filling or satisfying and, worse, have no nutritional value, life may feel like “empty calories.” A lot of things are like that — we participate in activities hoping to have a good time, but in the end, they leave us feeling miserable. Happiness is temporary and based on circumstances; joy is everlasting, regardless of the circumstances.
Is your joy full today? When something is full, there really isn’t room for anymore. It’s a feeling of complete fulfillment. What’s your pleasure — wine, women [men] and song? What takes you to your happy place — happy songs, happy days, happy anniversaries, happy holidays, happy dances, happy meals, happy birthdays, happy endings and happy New Years?
Too many people drag through the day with a sour attitude and no enthusiasm. They hardly ever smile. As a matter of fact, they never laugh anymore — the average child laughs 200 times per day, and the average adult laughs 14 times a day. Everything is a burden. People have sad dispositions, seem less than giddy or wake up grouchy. They feel frustrated, on edge, aggravated, uptight, and stressed or feel people push their buttons.
God never created us to endure life; He created us to enjoy life and have unbridled joy! We’re not supposed to go around with long faces — negative, discouraged, and grumpy.
Whether you receive these rib-tickling Christian jokes as a believer or a speaker retelling them to your targeted audience, these short, clean jokes are just to make you laugh. Double the pleasure, double the fun! They will help you radiate joy instead of faked happiness.
I heard about this minister. He was driving down the road when he got pulled over by a policeman. The officer came up to the window and smelled alcohol. He saw a thermos and said, “Sir, what are you drinking?”
The minister said, “Just water, officer.”
He asked to see the thermos and took one sniff and said, “Smells like wine to me.”
The minister said, “What do you know; Jesus did it again.”
Mark C. Overton is a retired Chief Master Sergeant from the US Air Force. He’s currently pursuing a Master of Biblical and Theological degree at Dallas Theological Seminary and also partnered with Joel Osteen Ministries as a Champion of Hope.
“I Like to Start with Something Funny”