What Does it Take to Make a Change?

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Time for a change! It’s a new year! Most of us are ready to put 2020 in the rear view mirror! And with a new beginning, we often think of new goals. What do we want to focus on this year? Maybe you want to lose those 10 pounds, quit smoking, limit social media, work on being more patient, etc. We all have something we want to change, but change is not that easy. If it was, I would not be writing this blog!

Too often, we begin the change process but quickly lose steam. Yuck, another failure. We think, why even bother? Why is this so hard? One reason could be because you really aren’t ready for change. Change might be a good idea conceptually, but readiness to change is important. So, before you diet for the 20th time, or try to limit your screen time once again, ask two important questions.

The first question is, how important is the change? Be honest. Are you doing this because someone else thinks you should, or because you feel guilty? To assess importance of a change, rate it on a scale from 1 to 10, with 1 being not important at all and 10 being the most important. If your rating is low (below a 5), you aren’t ready. Lack of importance means your goal is a low priority. It’s a set up for failure. For example, I asked a patient if he wanted to quit smoking. He said, “Not really, but my wife wants me too.” The more we talked, the more he told me that quitting smoking was not an important issue for him. He wasn’t ready to give up smoking with all the stress he was experiencing and rated the importance as a 3.

The second question is, how confident are you that you can make a change? Your motivation to change can be very important, but if you lack confidence to make the change, it is a set up for failure. To assess your confidence, use that same 1 to 10 scale. If your confidence number is low, change will be hard to make. Let’s use our patient example again. Patient #2 tells me giving up smoking is a 9 out of 10 on the scale of importance. He really wants to stop. But, he rated his confidence to quit a 3 out of 10. His reason for low confidence was due to all his previous failed efforts to stop smoking. He needed a plan for success because he didn’t want to fail again. And that plan included identifying the barriers and challenges to quitting.

Whatever it is that you want to change, it needs to be important and you need to feel confident to make it happen. Otherwise, you probably are not ready to move into action. One way you can increase your readiness is to make a list of pros and cons for making a change. The pros should outweigh the cons. And the cons need to be considered, as they relate to your confidence.

And remember, pray and ask God for help. You have the power of the Holy Spirit in you which should boost your confidence. God in us is a powerful change agent. If change is important, don’t get discourage or give up. If confidence is your issue, enlist the power of the Holy Spirit along with a good plan to overcome the barriers of reaching your goals. And remember, most people don’t change in a straight line, meaning there will be ups and downs to achieving success. The key is to not give up. If you relapse, get right back on track. Identify what got in your way of success and try again. Yes, it is a new year and you can reach your goals!

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Dr. Linda Mintle Author, Speaker, Professor, Media Personality and Licensed Therapist Host of the Dr. Linda Mintle Radio Show, Faith Radio It is rare that a trained academic who speaks passionately to the heart of people providing real answers to real life problems is so relatable. Dr. Linda’s fun personality and expertise comes through whether she’s helping her audience stress less or make peace with their thighs! Dr. Linda has her Ph.D. in Urban Health and Clinical Psychology and is a national expert on mental health. She has specialized in the treatment of eating disorders, anxiety, depression and pain management. With 30 years of clinical experience working with couples, families and individuals, she brings her common-sense approach to people who want to live in positive mental health. Dr. Linda is also a bestselling author with 20 book titles to her credit, a radio host of the Dr. Linda Mintle show, professor, national speaker, winner of the Mom’s Choice Award, a national news consultant, featured writer for Beliefnet and hosts her own website. Her academic appointments keep her abreast of current research in her areas of expertise. Her media experience includes seven years as the resident expert for ABC Family’s Living the Life television show and regular appearances on network television and radio. It is often said that being with Dr. Linda is like having coffee with a friend. She makes the complicated issues of relationships and mental health easy to understand and applicable to everyday living. The ease she has with people, coupled with her clinical training and experience makes her a sought-after speaker on college campuses, conferences and special events. Whether she is doing a TV skit with Tim Conway or discussing teen violence with Queen Latifa, Dr. Linda will entertain, educate and integrate faith and mental health in everyday living.