Understanding Your Worth and Value: Defining what it means to be a Proverbs 31 Woman


We live in a society where worth and value is measured by our possessions, position, and power. So many women struggle against the strain of trying to keep up and compare themselves to other women who seem to have it all. As women, we feel we are not worthy and valuable when what we do would be looked-down by most of society, hence the all too familiar game of comparison and feelings of being unworthy crouch upon us.

Especially for women, we can struggle as we try and find our worth and value from society that says conflicting things to a women. First, be sexy and sexual, look like those air-brushed models, and second, be a career women and a full-time homemaker. If we as women are trying to accomplish all of these tasks, someone, even ourselves will suffer. Relationships will be strained, health can be compromised, and things may be left incomplete because of a lack of time. There are however, times that a single mother or single women really has to do it all. My heart goes out to these women, it is not an easy task. But for the women who is married, with or without children, and tries to follow the dictates of society by fulfilling all roles society deems she should this could leave a woman in a quandary.

If we look to society to see what we as women are supposed to be doing, looking like, or acting like, we will be overwhelmed and confused. As women, we can live frustrated, exhausted, and burned-out lives. We live in the shadows of comparing ourselves to those prototype women who have it all. This is exhausting trying to be all and have it all, meanwhile trying to look like air-brushed models. Is it realistic for a woman to have it all and be all? No, superwoman is fictional. We are not called to be superwoman, as the feminist movement has declared for years. Women that is a lie! I do understand as an educated, post-graduate degree, career professional, that what I am saying is balked at by most women. But why? Because we bought into the lie that a women cannot simply be fulfilled by being a homemaker, or what I like to define as a Proverbs 31 women. 

What if as women, those who can, have a paradigm shift for the way we view the roles of women? What if God desires you to be a Proverbs 31 women? What if God desires you to be a helpmeet to your husband? Being a homemaker in this society can create struggles for a women in this century. But maybe we can look at what has taken place in history as a result of the breakdown of the family and home. Women have been so desperate to “keep up with men,” and to prove they are equal. Women, we don’t have to prove we are equal, because God in fact did design us differently than men. We don’t have to be subservient or “just a homemaker.” We can follow after the ideal prototype for a woman from the book of Proverbs. 

This Proverbs 31 women prototype can be one that we can look to for inspiration. She is strong in character, has great wisdom, many skills, and great compassion. Her strength and dignity do not come from her achievements, they are a result of her reverence for God. It is interesting to note that the Proverbs 31 woman’s appearance is never mentioned, her attractiveness comes entirely from her character. She realizes that regardless of her natural talents, skills, accomplishments, her strength comes from God. She is not only a homemaker, but respects her husband, and uses her time to care for others and utilizes her talents. 
For a woman who desires to be a Proverbs 31 women, you can do much with your time. If you are a Proverbs 31 with small children at home, you might be more limited with your time for a season. But a Proverbs 31 women can not only be a homemaker, but she can provide a home that is a sanctuary for her spouse/family, she can utilize her time and talents by volunteering at church or with a local ministry, and she can have the time to start a small at-home business or ministry. But whatever, God calls you to as a woman, know your worth and value is not in what you do, your degrees, where and how much you serve, and your position. Our worth and value as women do not come from what society says we should be like, what we should look like, or what we should do. Be confident in whatever God calls you to do, but don’t try and tackle on everything that you can. 

You are worthy and valuable in Christ alone. Not in your accomplishments, or your position or title. Don’t compare yourself with how the world deems women and what they should be doing. Be what and whom God has called you to be. If God has called you to be a type of a proverbs 31 woman, homemaker/helpmeet, student, or God may have you in a career outside the home, but whatever God calls you to do, do it without comparison, without guilt, and with confidence. As woman, let us not try and put each other in the same categories and in the same roles, we each are different and were created differently. Let us respect and value each other, and let us not think we are better by judging or looking-down on the homemaker, stay-at-home wife or mother, home-school mother, women in school and/or with college degrees, women with positions and titles, women who have to work outside the home, women who have careers as professionals, and women who are married, not married, have children or don’t have children. Let us value that we are all unique and each one of us has a different purpose and destiny. 

Scripture Passages on what God says about our Worth:

Genesis 1:26-27, says we are made in His image, the very image of God.

Psalm 139:13-16, says we are fearfully and wonderfully made.

Ephesians 1:13-14, we are told here that we are God’s own possession, chosen for His praise and glory, and that we have an inheritance in heaven with Him as children.