How Forgiveness Relieves Us From Anger

To forgive is to release the offender from their offense against us. When we choose to forgive and release the offender, the anger begins to ebb away along with the offense. Once the offense is forgiven, the anger disappears with it. Why? The anger entered as a result of the offense. With the offense cancelled, its guest, the anger, is also gone. This is the dynamics between forgiveness and anger. An advantage of forgiveness is the freedom we get from the suffocating anger that seethes in our hearts.

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The disturbing nature of anger

When we are offended, we are angry at the person because of our perception
of an action or event, or because we think someone is blameworthy. We think that
they deserve our anger; we see it as a form of punishment or a reprimand. However,
the sad thing is that when we get angry, we are actually inflicting the wounds on
ourselves. While our offender may bear some of the repercussions of our fury, the
person who retains the most hurt is us. Let us look at a few disadvantages of anger:

  • Anger is a form of poison that affects our entire being: our body, our
    emotions, and our minds.
  • Anger drains us emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically if
    we remain angry for extended periods.
  • Anger can be hazardous to our health; it can raise our blood pressure
    and attack our immune system.
  • Anger suffocates us. It destroys our peace. It makes us restless.
  • Anger clouds our judgment. We cannot think clearly. We tend to act and
    think irrationally.
  • Our emotions of anger are like fire; they burn within us, causing us to
    suffer. No one enjoys anger. It is not something that makes us laugh. It
    is no wonder that the Bible says anger rests with the unwise.

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools

(Ecclesiastes 7:9).

In spite of all these negative side effects of anger, we manage to convince
ourselves that we are justified in being angry. Of course, we are not. How could we
be when we are the one suffering instead of the person who offended us?
Blameworthy or not, as someone rightly said, anger is like taking poison and

expecting someone to die from it.

Forgiveness gives relief to anger

     To forgive is to release the offender from their offense against us. When we
choose to forgive and release the offender, the anger begins to ebb away along with
the offense. Once the offense is forgiven, the anger disappears with it. Why? The
anger entered as a result of the offense. With the offense cancelled, its guest, the
anger, is also gone. This is the dynamics between forgiveness and anger. An
advantage of forgiveness is the freedom we get from the suffocating anger that
seethes in our hearts.

When we forgive the coworker who reported us to our boss and jeopardized
our job, the anger subsides. When we no longer see them as blameworthy, we
remove the anger we directed towards them. Even if they are wrong, we no longer
look at them as such because we have acquitted them of their wrongdoing. And you
know what? We become free again. We find peace.
The anger that was choking us is now gone. Serenity has returned and our
mind regains clarity. The presence of forgiveness has removed the anger, a foreign
matter from us. We have forgiven, and in doing so, the anger disappears. It is to our
advantage and benefit that we overlook people’s sins against us. We are doing
ourselves a world of good.

The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and [it is] his glory to pass over a transgression (Proverbs 19:11).

Does it mean we should never be angry? Yes, we can be angry. Indeed there
are some deeds that should provoke anger. However, anger should be a fleeting
emotion. It is not meant to stay in our heart for too long. The Bible allows us to be
angry but we must not stay duly long it in.

Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians
4:26).
Forgiveness becomes a tool to remove the unhealthy state of anger. It will hurt
us more than our offender. Unforgiveness and anger therefore are self-destructive.

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools

(Ecclesiastes 7:9).

Will you forgive your offender and rid yourself of the corrosive anger within
you? Do it and do it now. Anger is not the answer. Forgiveness is.

Forgiveness Prayer

     Lord, I thank you for the freedom from anger. Help me to remove anger from
within by forgiving the one who offended me. Lord, when the temptation comes to
hold on to my anger, may I not succumb to it. May I remember that anger must not
dwell within me, and that it is not my friend. Enable me, Lord, to release my offender
of his offense, in Jesus’ name.

Discussion

1. What is your personal understanding of anger?
2. After forgiving someone, what sort of relief did you feel?
3. How do you let go of or address anger?
4. Describe a time when someone forgave you despite being angry with you.

Source: www.effectiveforgiveness.com

Also visit www.triumphpublishing.com and Amazon.com/Tai-O-Ikomi

 

 

VIATai Ikomi
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For the past 18 years, Dr. Tai Ikomi has been sharing her testimony of how she forgave the drunk who killed her husband and three children on an interstate highway Platte city, in Missouri. She travels all over the world sharing the grace of God on her shattered emotions over her tremendous loss and the power to forgive the drunk. Three years after her loss, she published her best seller and first book, His Beauty For My Ashes, an account of how the grace of God healed her wounded spirit and gave her a new lease in life. The book has become a classic book to help people who lose their loved ones. After years of sharing her testimony of forgiveness, she released her first book on Forgiveness in 1998, titled, The Virtue of Forgiveness. In 2009, she released another book on the same subject, titled, Effective Forgiveness. The book takes a practical at forgiveness and how to weave it into daily living with practical insights and suggestions from Scriptures. A great reading. Dr. Ikomi holds a B.A. degree in French from Universite du Benin, Lome Togo in 1976 an M.A. degree in Theology from Oral Roberts University in 1991. She also holds a doctorate degree in Theology. She has written over 30 books covering various issues of victorious Christian living. Dr. Ikomi speaks in conferences, churches, universities on Effective Forgiveness and other practical issues of the Christian life. She presents the God, who is not only about to comfort us in our affliction but who also can turn any situation around.