The disturbing nature of anger
When we are offended, we are angry at the person because of our perception
of an action or event, or because we think someone is blameworthy. We think that
they deserve our anger; we see it as a form of punishment or a reprimand. However,
the sad thing is that when we get angry, we are actually inflicting the wounds on
ourselves. While our offender may bear some of the repercussions of our fury, the
person who retains the most hurt is us. Let us look at a few disadvantages of anger:
- Anger is a form of poison that affects our entire being: our body, our
emotions, and our minds. - Anger drains us emotionally, mentally, and sometimes even physically if
we remain angry for extended periods. - Anger can be hazardous to our health; it can raise our blood pressure
and attack our immune system. - Anger suffocates us. It destroys our peace. It makes us restless.
- Anger clouds our judgment. We cannot think clearly. We tend to act and
think irrationally. - Our emotions of anger are like fire; they burn within us, causing us to
suffer. No one enjoys anger. It is not something that makes us laugh. It
is no wonder that the Bible says anger rests with the unwise.
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools
(Ecclesiastes 7:9).
In spite of all these negative side effects of anger, we manage to convince
ourselves that we are justified in being angry. Of course, we are not. How could we
be when we are the one suffering instead of the person who offended us?
Blameworthy or not, as someone rightly said, anger is like taking poison and
expecting someone to die from it.
Forgiveness gives relief to anger
To forgive is to release the offender from their offense against us. When we
choose to forgive and release the offender, the anger begins to ebb away along with
the offense. Once the offense is forgiven, the anger disappears with it. Why? The
anger entered as a result of the offense. With the offense cancelled, its guest, the
anger, is also gone. This is the dynamics between forgiveness and anger. An
advantage of forgiveness is the freedom we get from the suffocating anger that
seethes in our hearts.
When we forgive the coworker who reported us to our boss and jeopardized
our job, the anger subsides. When we no longer see them as blameworthy, we
remove the anger we directed towards them. Even if they are wrong, we no longer
look at them as such because we have acquitted them of their wrongdoing. And you
know what? We become free again. We find peace.
The anger that was choking us is now gone. Serenity has returned and our
mind regains clarity. The presence of forgiveness has removed the anger, a foreign
matter from us. We have forgiven, and in doing so, the anger disappears. It is to our
advantage and benefit that we overlook people’s sins against us. We are doing
ourselves a world of good.
The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and [it is] his glory to pass over a transgression (Proverbs 19:11).
Does it mean we should never be angry? Yes, we can be angry. Indeed there
are some deeds that should provoke anger. However, anger should be a fleeting
emotion. It is not meant to stay in our heart for too long. The Bible allows us to be
angry but we must not stay duly long it in.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath (Ephesians
4:26).
Forgiveness becomes a tool to remove the unhealthy state of anger. It will hurt
us more than our offender. Unforgiveness and anger therefore are self-destructive.
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools
(Ecclesiastes 7:9).
Will you forgive your offender and rid yourself of the corrosive anger within
you? Do it and do it now. Anger is not the answer. Forgiveness is.
Forgiveness Prayer
Lord, I thank you for the freedom from anger. Help me to remove anger from
within by forgiving the one who offended me. Lord, when the temptation comes to
hold on to my anger, may I not succumb to it. May I remember that anger must not
dwell within me, and that it is not my friend. Enable me, Lord, to release my offender
of his offense, in Jesus’ name.
Discussion
1. What is your personal understanding of anger?
2. After forgiving someone, what sort of relief did you feel?
3. How do you let go of or address anger?
4. Describe a time when someone forgave you despite being angry with you.
Source: www.effectiveforgiveness.com
Also visit www.triumphpublishing.com and Amazon.com/Tai-O-Ikomi
